The January Stars Read online

  Polly has friends? thought Clancy in genuine surprise.

  ‘You should totally go,’ said Tash immediately. ‘Don’t worry about us.’

  ‘Is there any chance your parents might be back by tomorrow night? Or even Friday might be all right, I suppose … ?’

  ‘Definitely,’ said Tash promptly. ‘Last night Dad said the end of the week, for sure.’

  ‘I don’t want them to rush back because of me. I did promise to look after you.’

  ‘You’d only be leaving us for one night, tops.’

  ‘Are you sure you’d be okay?’ It felt as if Polly were begging for their permission. ‘I don’t get away very often, and I was looking forward to it …’

  Clancy said nothing, but she didn’t want Polly to leave them all alone, not even for one night.

  ‘I promise I won’t throw a party or anything,’ said Tash.

  ‘Oh! I didn’t even think of that!’ Polly screwed up her face anxiously. ‘But I know I can trust you. If you’re absolutely sure …’

  ‘Absolutely,’ said Tash.

  And Polly went.

  ‘I can’t believe she actually did that,’ marvelled Clancy later, still shocked, even long after everything that happened next.

  ‘Maybe not her best call,’ agreed Tash.

  Early on Thursday morning, just before Polly dived into her Uber to the airport, she said, ‘Will you do me a favour, girls, if you get a chance? Go and visit your grandfather. I usually pop in before work on a Thursday.’

  Tash was offended. ‘I was going to visit Pa anyway. I’ve already been. Twice.’

  ‘Clancy?’ Polly hovered with one foot in the car. ‘I know Pa would love to see you.’

  Clancy squirmed. ‘Yeah, okay,’ she muttered.

  The car door slammed, and Polly was driven away.

  Tash threw her arms in the air. ‘Free at last!’ She pointed at Clancy. ‘And you’re coming to visit Pa today. You promised.’

  ‘Can’t I stay here?’ pleaded Clancy.

  ‘If you don’t come, maybe I will throw that party after all—’

  ‘Tash! You wouldn’t!’

  ‘Not if you come and see Pa.’

  ‘Okay, okay.’

  Clancy slumped against the doorway while Tash stalked inside. It was so early that a single star still lingered low in the dawn sky. Was it the same star she’d seen before, the night Tim left them here? It must be Venus, thought Clancy, the morning star that was actually not a star at all, but a planet … Morning star, evening star, a steady silver light that would become invisible when the sun rose.

  But of course Venus would still be there. It struck Clancy for the first time, with a pleased, private sense of discovery, that the stars didn’t really ‘come out’ when night fell; they were there all the time. It was just that the sun’s light was so bright that you couldn’t see them anymore.

  It made Clancy wonder what else might be lurking around, invisible to the eye. Just because you couldn’t see something didn’t prove it didn’t exist. You couldn’t see gravity, but that was real … so maybe all kinds of things like ghosts and magic and UFOs were real, too …

  A prickle ran down Clancy’s spine, and she hurried inside after her sister.

  Clancy trailed slowly behind Tash as they walked to The Elms, the aged care home where Pa had lived since he had his stroke, four years ago. The sun was hot and high in the sky, and the shadows of the tree trunks made crisp stripes across the pavement. Clancy loved Pa, of course, and she wanted to see him. But she hated going to The Elms.

  That was because Pa hated The Elms, too.

  Before his stroke, before Nan died, Pa had had a great life. He and Nan had travelled all around Australia finding rare birds for Nan to photograph and Pa to record in his observation notebook. Now Nan’s photographs and Pa’s notebooks were in boxes, shut in a cupboard in Pa’s room. He didn’t often take them out. There weren’t many opportunities for birdwatching at The Elms. There was a canary in a cage, but you could only note that once.

  The Elms was only a few blocks away from Polly’s house. That was the main reason why Pa had ended up living here: so it would be easy for Polly to drop in and see him. But Polly worked long hours and Pa went to bed early, and now Polly only visited her father a couple of times a week.

  Tash strode briskly ahead. If Clancy hadn’t been with her, she probably would have run, despite the heat. Tash loved to run; she played football; she was always in a hurry. Clancy preferred to take things slowly. And carefully. Watching her sister’s back disappearing down the driveway of The Elms, Clancy felt both guilty and annoyed.

  Clancy dawdled as Tash punched in the security code and held the automatic sliding doors open impatiently. She arrived at the doorway just in time to see a ginger cat slink out and vanish into the bushes.

  ‘Tash! You let the cat out!’

  ‘Only because you’re so slow.’ Tash marched up to the shrubbery. ‘Hey, cat! Come here!’

  ‘Don’t yell like that, you’ll scare him.’ Clancy peered through the leaves. ‘Puss, puss. Come on, Ginger,’ she coaxed, but the cat refused to emerge.

  ‘It’s not coming,’ said Tash.

  ‘Maybe if we leave the door open, he’ll come back in by himself?’ suggested Clancy.

  ‘I’m not standing here all day!’

  ‘What about the poor cat? What if it gets run over?’

  Tash shrugged. ‘You can stay here and wait for the stupid cat if you want to. I’m going to see Pa.’

  ‘Tash!’ wailed Clancy, but her sister had already whisked herself inside.

  Clancy stood for a few moments in the doorway, half in and half out, feeling the cool air-conditioning on her sweaty skin. She glanced nervously at the reception desk, but the chair behind it was empty. The receptionist must have been taking a lunch break. There was no movement from the cat.

  At last Clancy cast a despairing glance around the foyer, grabbed a chair and propped it in position to hold the doors open in case Ginger changed his mind, then ran after Tash.

  They found Pa in the big lounge room with the other residents. He was sitting in his wheelchair in front of the television, with his head drooping onto his chest. He seemed to be dozing, not watching the ancient movie that was playing on the screen.

  ‘Whatcha watching, Pa?’ Tash swooped in with a quick hug and a kiss. ‘Is it The Great Escape again?’

  Pa blinked at her in confusion, and shrugged. When he saw Clancy, he pulled a surprised face, and reached out his left hand to give hers a squeeze. His right hand lay unmoving in his lap. Since his stroke, he hadn’t been able to use his right arm or hand, and he couldn’t speak, at least not much. He could say yes and no and bugger, and that was about it. And although he could stand up on his right leg, it wasn’t much use for walking.

  A tiny wrinkled lady in the next chair gave a fretful groan.

  ‘Bye, Myrna!’ said Tash cheerfully as she pulled Pa’s wheelchair out of the semicircle. Clancy trailed behind as Tash pushed Pa down the corridor to his room. It was big enough for a bed and a cupboard, and he had his own bathroom, but the window looked out onto a dull view of a corner of the building, and Pa often kept the curtain shut.

  ‘Sp-sp-sp?’ Pa gestured to Clancy and Tash, eyebrows raised. He held up three fingers, then two.

  ‘I don’t understand, Pa,’ said Clancy.

  ‘Sp-sp-sp!’ He held up his left hand in midair, and waved it in the general direction of – somewhere.

  ‘Sorry, Pa,’ said Tash. ‘I don’t get it either.’

  He thumped his fist on the arm of his chair. ‘Sp-sp-sp!’ He pointed to the group of family photos on the wall beside the bed. Tash scrambled up, pointing to one picture, then the next.

  ‘No,’ said Pa. ‘No …’ Then, triumphantly, ‘Yes!’

  It was a photograph of all of Pa and Nan’s children as teenagers: Mark with a broad grin and crazy hair; Tim all spotty and sulky, hiding behind a floppy fringe; Polly, hair neatly combed with a
worried expression on her face; and the identical twins, Pip and Bee, much younger than the others, long dark curls tumbling over their shoulders.

  Clancy recognised them vaguely, but apart from Polly, she hadn’t met most of them for years. After Nan died and Pa had gone to live at The Elms, the siblings had drifted in all directions and hardly saw each other anymore.

  Tash took the photo down and Pa put his finger on Polly’s face. ‘Sp-sp?’

  ‘Where’s Polly?’ guessed Tash. ‘Why didn’t she come this morning?’

  ‘She’s gone to Sydney,’ said Clancy. ‘Didn’t she tell you?’

  Tash frowned. ‘It’s supposed to be a secret.’

  ‘Even from Pa? It’s not like he can tell anyone.’ Clancy perched gingerly on the edge of the bed. She felt slightly better now that another adult knew about Polly abandoning them, even if the adult was only Pa. Tash and Polly had agreed there was no need to worry Tim and Harriet by telling them about her little trip. ‘You’ll only be alone for one night,’ said Polly. ‘Two at the most. What could possibly happen in a couple of nights?’

  ‘Absolutely nothing,’ Tash assured her.

  Clancy supposed they were right. Probably. And Pa didn’t seem too worried. But Pa didn’t know about Mark being arrested in New Zealand. Tim and Harriet and Polly had all agreed it would just upset him. It wasn’t as if he could do anything to help. Polly had told him Tash and Clancy were staying with her just for fun. No wonder he was confused.

  Clancy swung her legs back and forth and tried to think of something to talk about. Conversation with Pa was hard work, because it was so difficult for him to talk back.

  ‘Want to look at photos?’ Tash reached into a box at the top of the cupboard and pulled out an album. Clancy knelt on the bed so she could peer over Pa’s shoulder while Tash turned the pages.

  ‘There’s your old house, at Rosella. Remember when me and Clancy were little and we all lived with you there, and you and Nan used to look after us while Mum and Dad were working?’

  ‘Yes.’ Pa smiled.

  ‘No,’ said Clancy sadly. She’d been too young; she could hardly remember the Rosella years at all. The family had lived with Nan and Pa until Clancy turned three and Bruno was born, when they’d moved to the apartment. But they’d still visited Rosella often, and always had Christmas there, though Harriet’s family were upset about that. Rosella had sometimes felt more like home than their actual home did.

  But now the house was rented out to pay for Pa’s room at The Elms, and they couldn’t even visit anymore.

  ‘Look at me! How cute was I?’ Tash studied a photo of her younger self with satisfaction.

  ‘Sp-sp-sp.’ Pa tapped the picture with one finger.

  ‘Yes, that was my first footy,’ agreed Tash.

  ‘I was just as cute as you,’ muttered Clancy, eyeing a photo of herself in a high chair, with something that looked like pumpkin on her chin.

  Pa turned a page and sighed as he stared at photos of his garden. It had almost been a wilderness, a bush garden, to attract the birds that he and Nan had watched from the deck.

  ‘Is that Nan?’ said Clancy, and for a moment they all paused silently to gaze at the photo of Nan at the beach, laughing and holding onto a big sunhat that framed her round face like a halo. There weren’t many photos of Nan, because she had usually been the one behind the camera. Clancy found that the tighter she tried to hold onto her memories of Nan, the blurrier they became.

  ‘Sp-sp-sp.’ Pa touched Nan’s laughing face gently with his finger.

  Clancy picked up the album and some loose photographs fell out. ‘What are these?’

  They were strange photos, wheels of light above a dark horizon. ‘Sp-sp!’ explained Pa, gesturing upward. He mimed clicking a camera, and waggled his fingers.

  ‘Did Nan take these?’ asked Tash.

  ‘Yes!’

  ‘They look like those paintings. You know, that guy—’ said Clancy. ‘That Vincent guy?’

  ‘Sp-sp-sp!’ said Pa, excited.

  ‘I know what they are!’ said Tash. ‘Star trails! Time lapse star photos. Is that it, Pa? Is that what Nan was doing?’

  ‘Sp-sp-sp!’ Pa launched into a long story, none of which the girls could understand. Seeing their blank faces, he banged his fist on the arm of his chair and let out a roar of frustration. He hit his forehead with his hand. ‘Aargh!’

  ‘Don’t, Pa, don’t!’ begged Clancy.

  Pa slumped in his chair. ‘Sp-sp-sp,’ he said gloomily. Never mind.

  There was a short, bleak silence.

  Tash changed the subject. ‘Hey Pa, do you remember the day we moved out, and I went missing, and no one could find me? Everyone was freaking out. Mum crawled under the deck looking for me, Dad went up on the roof, Nan knocked on all the neighbours’ doors, Bruno was screaming in the pram, Clancy was bawling—’

  ‘I was not!’ said Clancy.

  ‘Yes, you were. You don’t remember,’ said Tash dismissively. ‘But Pa, you ignored everyone else, and you went down the road to that patch of forest that joins onto the national park, and you found me there hiding under the trees. And I said I didn’t want to move into the flat, and you and I should live in a cubby in the forest forever, just the two of us. Remember that?’

  ‘Ah …’ Pa nodded. But Clancy thought he didn’t look too sure.

  Tash slammed the album shut. ‘What about a game of chess?’ She rummaged in the cupboard. ‘Memory? Snap? Monopoly?’

  ‘Not Monopoly,’ said Clancy.

  ‘Sp-sp-sp?’ asked Pa.

  ‘Because she’s a nightmare to play with!’ Clancy glared at Tash. ‘She steals all the one-dollar notes, so no one ever has the right change to pay rent, and she always builds hotels on the Jail and you’re not allowed to.’

  ‘That’s what developers do in the real world. Get over it,’ said Tash. ‘I’m not as bad as Bruno. He buys one property of every colour to make a rainbow, and then no one can win. Want to play, Pa?’

  Pa waved his hand wearily. ‘Nah.’

  ‘It’s no fun with only two,’ said Clancy.

  ‘At least with two, you always get a winner.’ But Tash put the box back on the shelf. ‘I guess we’d better go,’ she said. ‘Lunch time.’

  Clancy slid off the bed in relief. ‘Is it lunch time for you, too, Pa?’

  ‘Pfft!’ Pa fired up briefly, tapping his watch indignantly. ‘Sp-sp-sp!’

  ‘Pa’s had his already,’ said Tash. ‘They have lunch at twelve, and dinner at five, don’t you, Pa?’

  ‘Sp-sp-sp,’ agreed Pa disgustedly.

  Tash grabbed the handles of the wheelchair. ‘Come on. If you’re lucky, you might catch the end of The Great Escape.’

  Clancy and Tash left their grandfather parked in front of the television. The movie had finished, and now there was a concert playing, with a violinist in a flamboyant cravat and a sparkling waistcoat. Pa snorted, but he seemed resigned to enduring it.

  At the front door, they found pandemonium.

  Half a dozen residents who were not supposed to leave the building had discovered the open door and taken their chance to shuffle through it. Now they had scattered along the street, or trundled across the road, as fast as their shaky legs and walking frames could take them.

  Blue-uniformed staff were frantically sprinting out the door to bring them back, and the foyer swarmed with staff and residents and visitors, all talking excitedly. An announcement from the agitated receptionist echoed through the corridors: ‘Staff to the front door. Code purple, repeat, we have a code purple!’

  ‘Oh, Clancy.’ Tash shook her head sorrowfully. ‘What have you done?’

  Clancy was struck silent with horror.

  ‘But there’s a sign on the door!’ The manager of The Elms, a youngish white woman in a red jacket and unsteady high-heeled shoes, wobbled across the foyer. Her name tag read Belinda. ‘Who is responsible for this?’

  Clancy’s face glowed hot with guilt and embarrassment. ‘I�
��m really sorry,’ she whispered. ‘I didn’t mean to. It was for the cat.’

  Belinda wheeled around sharply. ‘For the cat?’

  Miserably, Clancy scuffed the toe of her shoe on the tiled floor. ‘He ran out,’ she mumbled. She wished Tash would say something. Tash was so much better at talking to people.

  ‘What cat? There is no cat.’ Belinda frowned. ‘Are you visiting someone?’

  ‘Yes, Pa – I mean, Godfrey Sanderson. He’s our grandfather.’

  ‘Godfrey is your grandfather?’

  Belinda blinked. Clancy could guess why. Their mother was Chinese, but Pa wasn’t – he was Tim’s father. Tash and Clancy didn’t look anything like Pa. Belinda’s reaction was the kind of thing that made Tash furious, but it just made Clancy feel sort of tired.

  Belinda recovered quickly. ‘Didn’t you see the sign on the door? Do Not Allow Residents To Walk Out Unaccompanied? Or did you think it would be funny? Is this some kind of prank?’

  ‘No! The cat—’ But clearly Belinda didn’t believe in the cat. Clancy said miserably, ‘I just didn’t realise—’

  ‘So if Godfrey is your grandpa, your mum is Polly, is she?’

  ‘No, she’s our aunt,’ said Tash.

  ‘I see.’ Belinda turned to the receptionist. ‘Lorraine, could you look up Polly Sanderson’s number for me?’ She swung back to the girls. ‘Your aunt knows you’re here, yeah? Maybe she’d better come and pick you up, and I can have a word to her about not letting children wander around without adult supervision. Don’t you know how dangerous that is?’

  Tash’s eyes narrowed. ‘We’re not children. I can learn to drive next year.’

  ‘Please don’t call Polly,’ begged Clancy. ‘I’m really, really sorry. It’ll never happen again, I promise.’ Because I am never, never coming back here as long as I live. Everyone was staring at her. She wished a black hole would swallow her up.

  ‘You can call Polly if you want, but she won’t pick up,’ said Tash coolly. ‘She switches her phone off when she’s at work.’